Elvis Down the Chimney!
by Kate Ya Mate
Summary: High dose of strange men, sexual tension and Elvis Presley...Noromos beware!


Elvis Down the Chimney

by Katie Rogers, aka Scullee_uk

Title: Elvis Down the Chimney

Author: Katie Rogers

E-mail: [katerogers@bun.com][1]

Category: Scully/Mulder romance

Spoilers: 'Jersey Devil', '3', 'Gethsemane', 'Never Again'

Timeline: Um…this is a hard one…takes place somewhere between Series 5 and 6, I guess…

Summary: Mulder and Scully attend an FBI Christmas 'do' and get a high dose of strange men, sexual tension and Elvis Presley…

This is my first ever fan fiction posted on the net, so be easy on me! My knees are quivering…! However, for those of you who read 'Xpose', I have had a poem published in there called 'In Honour of Mulder and Scully' (Issue 11), so you may have read some of my work already… I aim to please- especially Shippers!

I'd like to thank my editors, Michelle and Ayse for making this possible and devoting their time and energy just for me. I love you guys! I'd also like to thank my teacher, Ms Naylor, and especially my mum and dad for their love and support.

Disclaimer: Well, like everybody else who writes these things, the characters, sadly, do not belong to me. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully belong to Chris Carter and The X Files belongs to Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions, etc., etc.

I would also like to add that I began writing this story _before_ 'The Ghosts Who Stole Christmas' was aired, so there may be some similarities. I also sent this story to DD and GA before that episode, so it's possible they may have nicked some of the ideas… Or maybe I'm just too vain…

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ELVIS DOWN THE CHIMNEY

by Katie Rogers

**********************************************

Fox Mulder's apartment

12:10am

"'We are alone in the universe'". A statement not wanted to be heard by all you dedicated and intelligent members of our great American society that stands before me today. But has our government compelled us to accept that we are the only life force that inhabits this planet? Or perhaps the theory that should be put to test is that maybe we are the only life force known to everybody excluding the _American government_? Who knows what facts they keep from us? Who knows what lies they create to shield the truth from us? Well I'm telling _you_, if we are to live our lives honestly, something must be done! And if you are one of those people belonging to the government, you my friend are _not_ a true American. You are part of the foundations of a world full of lies and deceit!"

Mulder aimed the remote at the TV with a sigh. He thought about what the spokesperson had said. Almost subconsciously, his eyes gazed over at the mantelpiece at a picture of his sister. He sighed again, and yawned. Acknowledging his need for sleep, he sprawled out on the two-seater sofa and drifted off with a final sigh.

********************************************

Dana Scully's apartment

7:10am

Daylight filtered through the room and struck Scully's as she opened them to a frosty morning. It was winter, and with only twelve days to go until Christmas, Scully and her partner had been invited to the annual Christmas 'do' held by their so-called 'friends' at the FBI. 

The evening seemed to arrive quicker than Scully would have liked. She had yet to finish all the things she aimed to- housework, a visit to the hairdresser's and the one thing she was determined to get done if it killed her- Christmas Shopping. 

She opened her wardrobe and began debating which outfit to wear. She settled on a sleek, but plain, backless black evening dress. Adding to the final touch with a pair of delicate heeled shoes, she sat on the couch, awaiting Mulder's arrival. She was actually looking forward to an evening of socialising, something she needed to catch up on. She felt a mixture of excitement, wonder and…nerves.

Nerves? She frowned. Why was she nervous? Mulder was her friend, not a stranger! They were like brother and sister! He had seen her at her worst in the morning after a night in the woods together. He had given her mouth to mouth resuscitation. They had even seen each other naked whilst being decontaminated! And here she was, quivering in apprehension of a simple night out with him!

Trying to shake off the feeling, she decided it was time to give her partner a call and hear his excuse for being late. Picking up her cell phone and punching in the number that had become etched in her mind, she waited for an answer. It came after the first ring.

"Mulder."

"Mulder did you bump into ET? Where are you? We're gonna be late."

Scully glanced up, hearing a knock at the door. 

"Mulder- hurry up." 

She turned off her phone and proceeded to the front door. Standing in the doorway with a cell phone held to his ear, was Mulder. Scully tipped her head to the side and folded her arms, sighing and shaking her head. Mulder merely grinned in response.

********************************************

Route 29

8:00pm

They glided along the slippery roads, Mulder driving and Scully sitting next to him, clinging on to the seat for dear life. Mulder was not exactly Mr Safe when it came to driving, even after four years of working with him.

"I can't believe they're holding this year's in a castle," remarked Mulder. 

"Mm. I guess it's different," replied Scully, not really thinking about what she was saying. She was concentrating on the road. A_t least one of us is_, she thought. As they hit a wider road, she allowed herself to relax a bit. 

"I'm actually amazed that you agreed to come, Mulder, I mean, I didn't think parties were your thing."

"Well, I like to _'boogie on down'_ occasionally," he retorted, wiggling his hips. "After all, it'll be different. How many people do _you_ know that hold parties in castles?"

Scully rolled her eyes as she clicked on.

"Oh I get it." She looked at Mulder, squinting and nodding her head. "There's something that interests you about this castle, isn't there? Something…WEIRD, something UNORDINARY. So come on Mulder. Spill the beans."

"Hey, I'm hurt. How dare you suggest I attend a friendly gathering simply for the setting? You know how much I love my friends at the FBI," responded Mulder with emphasised sarcasm in his tone.

"So are you gonna fill me in on the details?" Scully queried curiously.

Mulder looked thoughtful.

"Nah. You can wait."

********************************************

Hooke's Castle

8:30pm

Mulder held the door open for Scully as she stepped out of the Mercedes 180. Her shoes crunched onto the gravel. The air was still and the coldness of the night hit her face harshly. She broke the eerie silence.

"I knew I should have called you to check what you planned on wearing." Mulder had chosen a smart white shirt, black trousers and a matching black jacket. "We must look like the 'Glitzy Oscar Couple'," she said, as she eyed them up and down in their matching outfits.

"Well we're about to find out," Mulder said through a grin.

The two walked under the suspended drawbridge, which was decorated with tacky Christmas adornments. On entering the main hall, the whole place was buzzing with chatter and traditional Yuletide melody. Scully was instantly bombarded by a colleague who thrust a glass of punch into hers and Mulder's hand, almost spilling it in the process. Whipping a camera from a nearby table, she aimed it at the people standing opposite her, as they looked on in bewilderment.

"Picture in front of the tree!" she exclaimed, in a high-pitched, squeaky voice that made Mulder quiver. He felt he might as well be listening to a Christmas tree itself, judging from the woman's dazzling sequin jacket and Dame Edna glasses. She even sported a pair of bauble-shaped earrings.

"Hey DANA! Didn't think you were COMING! Isn't this party THE best? Catch ya later!" The woman scurried off to find more people to blitz with her deranged enthusiasm.

Mulder looked at Scully, an expressionless look on his face. "I didn't realise you knew Ruby Wax," he remarked in his usual intonation of deadpan humour. Scully grinned in amused agreement.

"It's gonna be a _long_ night." 

Seeing a calmer friend whom she recognised from college, she called out to her and walked over to the snack table where she was standing. Deep in conversation, she hadn't noticed that Mulder had wandered off…

********************************************

Mulder groaned as he climbed the last flight of spiral stairs and almost collapsed from exhaustion upon reaching the top of the left castle tower. He decided that maybe that trial period at the gym wouldn't hurt.

Standing on the stone ground and protected only by short crenellations surrounding the border of the tower, he gazed up at the magnificent sky, a black velvet blanket, sprinkled with twinkling stars. He thought of his sister again, and the spokesman on the TV.

What if they were right? What if the government was pulling the wool over people's eyes? What if Samantha was missing because of _them_, because of the aliens?

It saddened him to think of the consequences. He wished they could switch places- anything to give her back the life that was taken from her so quickly and so unjustifiably. 

He walked slowly towards the crenellations and leaned on them, looking down into the dark blue moat, swaying in the wind, alluring him to lose himself in its serene kingdom. It would all be over within seconds. Maybe he would see his sister, talk to her, and reclaim the feelings of love and the devotion that once flourished between them.

But things held him back as they always did. There was life. His quest. His mother.

And then there was Scully. He owed everything to her. She was his constant, his driving force, his ray of hope.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a few Sunflower Seeds. Munching, he didn't hear the person coming up the stairs until a chill trailed the back of his neck. Pulling the suit jacket tighter around him, he became aware of how cold it had got and decided to back to Scully in the warmth, no matter what insane Christmas Tree Women might be awaiting his return. Turning around, he gasped as an old man, probably in his eighties, at least, stood directly in front of him.

"Oh I am sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. Pray tell, who stands before me?" His voice was worn and came out in a strained crackle.

Mulder subconsciously took a step backward, and replied, "I'm Agent Mulder."

"Ah. Pleased to meet you young sir," the man answered. The more Mulder looked at the old man, the more he reminded him of a character from a Charles Dickens novel. He was tall and almost weedy, yet at the same time grand, beaming an air of sophistication, especially in the way he spoke- or at least tried to through that crackly voice. He had fluffy grey hair and matching sideburns, most of which was covered by his top hat. He wore a fading brown suit and his wrinkly left hand grasped a polished cane.

The old man continued to speak. "Tell me, Mulder, what is the night sky like tonight?" The old man pointed his cane at the sky so that the golden tip twinkled in the moonlight like the stars above them.

"Well…as you see it now, I guess." Mulder was taken aback by the strange question. He shivered as an eerie feeling of nervousness came over him. Scully would be ashamed of him.

"Oh forgive me!" the old man said, tipping his head back, grinning with realisation. "You see, I am unfortunate enough to have been deprived of my sight. Please, describe the night," he replied, gesturing with his hand, almost in frustration, for Mulder to go ahead.

Mulder put his hands in his pockets. "Well, um…-"

"Didiere," the man interrupted.

"Well Didiere, it's a beautiful night. Uh, there's a lot of stars and the moon, just, breath-taking."

Didiere walked towards the edge of the tower, looking up at the sky as if he could see it, as if his blindness was just a fabrication. Mulder watched him closely, worried he might fall. To Mulder, Didiere looked like a man of great integrity, a man who had a thousand years of history locked away in the depths of his memory. But it seemed there was not much time left to store more memories. He wheezed and coughed from deep down in his chest. He looked embarrassed.

"Oh, do excuse me, young sir."

Mulder felt himself mustering a feeling of pity towards the man. He seemed to be so alone, so innocent. He leaned on the tower's edge next to Didiere and watched as he continued to pour out more sophisticated conversation.

There was a long pause of silence before the man spoke again. Mulder suspected he was gathering his breath.

"Mr Mulder, do you know what it's like to lose someone close to you?"

The comment hit a spot inside of Mulder with the force of an archer's arrow. He turned away, his eyes surveying the landscape miles in front of them.

"Well as a matter of fact I do." He looked back at the old man. "It hurts, doesn't it?"

"That's right, it does. But I bet you don't know what it feels like to lose everything. Everything you live for- your friends, family…everything that keeps you going." Didiere looked withered with saddened thought and burdened memories. "I bet you came here with someone tonight, Fox."

Mulder nodded in response.

"Well you have somebody then. You have lots more than I do." 

Mulder frowned as he realised something. "How did you know my name?"

"What?"

"Fox, you called me Fox. How did you know my first name?"

"Well I guess you must have told me, I-"

"No, no you didn't. Do I know you from somewhere?" Mulder was scanning the man from head to foot, an inquisitive squint in his eyes as he searched for the reason for him knowing this man.

"I won't keep you any longer. Go back to your lady friend. The one you're in love with." A slight smile formed across Didiere's face.

"HEY! Now-now hang on a minute! You just creep up on me, win me over with your-your sophisticated conversation and then you go making accusations about the people I work with!"

"I may be blind Mr Mulder, but sometimes it is the blind who see all the better."

"What else do you know about me?" Mulder brought his hand to his head and looked at the ground, barely taking the moment in.

"Your sister, of course. That's why I came. It happened to me as well. They came, they took, they left. Just like when they came and took your sister."

"I-" Mulder stopped when he looked up and realised the man had gone. "DIDIERE!" he called. "DIDIERE COME BACK! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT!" He rushed frantically down the narrow steps.

********************************************

Christmas melody filtered through the air. Scully was in her element. Surrounded by friends whom she had not seen since Quantico, she felt moved by the nostalgic atmosphere in the room, combined with the sweet smell of tinsel.

Suddenly the music was cut off and a microphone squeaked, echoing through the great dining hall. Everyone in the room turned their heads towards the small stage that was temporarily set up for the occasion.

"May I have your attention, ladies and gentlemen?" said a small, round man, smothered in tinsel and silly string. As the man rambled on about Christmas and the year's achievements by various FBI agents, Scully, looking around, realised that Mulder had wandered off somewhere. She prayed to dear God he wasn't swimming in the moat looking for the Loch Ness Monster.

The man ended his speech. "If you'd like to make your way through to the Food Hall down the hallway, various nibbles are available, so hurry along now!"

The chatter rose loudly as people piled out of the hall and into the adjoining Food Hall. As Scully was standing and peering over the hundreds of heads in an attempt to locate her wandering partner, she spotted the Christmas Tree woman, weaving through the crowds of people and making way over to Scully.

"Hey Dana! Are you coming?" She gestured to the next room.

Scully kept her eyes transfixed on the near empty room. "Oh, yeah, I'm just coming. Have you seen Mulder?" she queried.

"Oh is _that_ the young man you came here with?" she replied, her eyes widening. Scully saw the dreaded twinkle in the woman's eyes, and tried to remember who she was. She leaned closer to Scully and whispered excitedly, "Hey could you set me up with him? I think he's _so_ _adorable!_ So tell me," The woman placed her hand on Scully's arm before continuing. "Apart from being the most refined, sexy man I've ever known, what other qualities does he have?"

Scully forced a smile and laughed nervously. She walked into the hall, choosing to ignore the question.

Dazzling chandeliers hung from the high ceiling and smoother carols were being played. Scully and Edna spotted some more of their old friends, and pulled out a chair, each one stylishly furnished with a maroon coloured cushion. The food and the residence seemed to contradict each other. The food consisted of what one would normally expect at an office 'do'- chicken drumsticks, nuggets, fries in baskets, biscuits, cakes and all sorts of little titbits and savouries served on paper plates. The furniture and room in which it was served proved much more classy- glimmering, mahogany tables and chairs, impressive patterned wallpaper and a beautiful stained glass window. Scully found herself amused at the contrast. Just as she turned to ask someone to pass her the crackers, a man pulled out the chair beside her.

"Mulder! Where have you been?"

Mulder grinned. "For a wander." He leaned closer to Scully and whispered quietly. "I got bored so I decided to go look for Casper."

Scully sighed and offered Mulder a bread roll from the basket. It was question time. "So where-"

"Hey Foooooox! Hi!" Edna interrupted them, leaning in front of Scully.

Mulder frowned. "I'm sorry, I don't-"

"Julia!" she interrupted again. Scully leaned in front of Julia, blocking her view from Mulder so she could talk to him.

"So where did you go, Mulder?" she queried him.

Mulder opened his mouth to answer but before he could say a word, they were interrupted again.

"I hear you're a big fan of Elvis!"

Mulder looked at Scully accusingly. She put up her hands in surrender. "You weren't here to defend yourself, Mulder," she whispered.

"Excuse me a moment," he replied, forcing a smile and feeling the desperate need to escape the situation. Scully rolled her eyes at his cowardly retreat.

"You know I like the shy type!" Julia shrieked, unaware of what big a fool she was making of herself.

********************************************

Mulder was just leaving the snazzy Men's Room when something caught his eye. He turned around to satisfy his curiosity and saw an old man, washing his hands at a glistening basin.

Didiere.

"Didiere!"

"I'm sorry Mr Mulder," Didiere muttered, rushing off in a flurry.

"Wait! How did you know all those things about me? For God's sake tell me!" He gripped Didiere's arm tightly. "I'm not leaving until you tell me!"

The old man went to speak, but then closed his mouth again. With a sigh, he reached into his front pocket, pulled out a small, tatty photo, and handed it to Mulder, who wondered what use a photo would be to a blind man. Mulder's eyes widened as he looked at the photo. The picture showed Didiere standing with a small girl with blonde hair and startling blue eyes.

"That's your sister, Mr Mulder," Didiere explained, breaking the silence.

Mulder frowned. "No, no it isn't. That's not my sister. She has brown hair and brown eyes." By now his grip on the old man's arm had loosened and his hand merely rested on his arm as he grew transfixed and at the same time confused by the photo.

"I don't mean her. Look in the background."

Mulder's breath caught in his throat as his eyes fell on the tiny, blurred image near the top edge of the photo.

"That's her. That's Samantha. How did you…" He could barely speak. "How did you get this?"

When the old man didn't answer, Mulder turned his eyes away from the photo.

Only to see that Didiere had gone. He punched the air in a fit of anger.

********************************************

Scully's alcohol-affected legs wobbled slightly as she staggered out of the Ladies. The fact that Mulder jumped in front of her, his eyes wide and alarmed, did nothing for her balance.

"Mulder! Could you please _stop_ disa…Mulder? Mulder are you okay?" She put her hand on his arm, a look of concern in her eyes.

Mulder was short of breath, trying to speak in between gasps. "I…I…" He swallowed. "Scully I need to tell you something. Come with me."

"Mulder, I-"

"Come on! We can't waste any time!"

"Whoa!" Scully nearly lost her footing.

"Scully have you been drinking?"

Scully grinned and giggled a little, holding up her fingers to demonstrate the amount. "I-I might have had a little…an incy…I had wudink…" She shut her eyes to concentrate. "I mean, _one drink_…" She giggled again, looking up at Mulder like a naughty schoolgirl as he held her shoulders to stop her from falling.

Mulder sighed and pursed his lips. "Excellent."

********************************************

As they climbed the steps to where Mulder had first seen Didiere, he briefly wondered if he was wasting his time.

But that picture! How had he got that picture? And why did he have it?

Mulder realised he didn't really want to know. What if Didiere told him his sister had been murdered? Or had died even through an accident? Where would that leave him?

No hope. No cause. _That_ was where it would leave him.

"Scully you okay?" he asked, noticing Scully was wheezing slightly.

"Would you mind telling me what this is all about, Mulder?" she replied, a little frustrated now.

"Be patient, Scully," he replied. "Not that you'd remember anyway you're so drunk…" he mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Within a few more minutes, they reached the top. Scully leaned breathlessly on a crenellation.

"Don't these places have elevators?" she joked.

"Damn Tudors," Mulder joked back.

"Mulder?"

"Huh?"

"The STORY? The REASON why we're up here?"

Mulder took the photo from his trouser pocket. "This man, Didiere-"

"_Didiere_?"

"He showed me this picture of my sister." He showed the photo to Scully. "And he's _blind,_ Scully! The man is blind and he carries around a photo! And I can't figure out why it's _this_ photo, or how he knows so much about me! About _us_!"

"What do you mean, about _us_?" Scully asked, confused.

"It…it doesn't matter…but he knows about Samantha and everything, Scully. He told me my history, my darkest secret."

"Is this why you came here? Is this why you agreed to join your 'friends' at the FBI? Because of this man?"

"No! No that's the weird thing. I didn't even know he would be here." He sighed. "If you _must_ know, I once got a tip-off that Elvis was secretly living here."

Scully almost choked, and then a smile crept over her face, from one reddened cheek to the other. "_Elvis_? Mulder I knew you had an obsession, but-"

"I do not have an obsession!" Mulder shot back. "Well maybe a little one- but don't you see? That man _knew_ that I would be here tonight, with you!"

"I still don't get how I fit into all of this Mulder."

"…Nor do I, but I need your help. So if you could, I dunno, drink some coffee or something…Please?"

"Coffee? Mulder why would I need-" Scully found herself answering her own question as she swayed from side to side and nearly fell back down the stairs, making her strenuous journey worthless. Mulder rushed forward and grabbed her, holding her up. He looked at her, his expression reading 'Now do you see why you need that coffee?'

********************************************

"So you're telling me this man is in his eighties, is blind, and he can climb ten flights of stairs unaided?"

"You forgot the part about him reading my past."

"Yes. How could I forget? Mulder come on! He probably just read your file!"

"Scully aren't you forgetting something?"

"Well we don't know _when_ he lost his sight. He may have read your profile before, when he could see."

Mulder shook his head. "No. He knows too much Scully. How would he know about my sister? That's confidential information."

Mulder and Scully stood discussing the situation in the small sitting room in the left wing of the castle, Mulder on one end of the settee, Scully on the other, both gesturing frustratingly with their hands.

"Mulder can we _please_ stop all this running? Can we _please_ just _enjoy_ ourselves for once? Take an evening off?"

"Scully I believe we were put here, on this earth, for the one purpose of getting to the truth. I mean, don't you want to know? You've seen so much!"

"I've seen _too_ much Mulder. I don't know if I want to see any more."

Mulder looked at the floor. Scully took his hand, checking that nobody was watching them.

"Mulder when was the last time you had a decent night's sleep? Huh? You need to live your life now, stop all this frantic searching for something we're never gonna find. You told me yourself, for every step we make, they're always one step ahead of us." She paused for a while, thinking. "I want to know you Mulder."

Mulder looked up at her. He couldn't help noticing the sheen on her auburn hair under the light.

"I want to know the _real_ you. Not the person who is always chasing after aliens, after conspiracies, after the so-called 'truth' that may not even exist! I can't take it any more, Mulder. I need to see behind this wall you put up. I've known you long enough now."

"Scully, I…" He sighed, trying to find the right words. "This man, he may not be the answer. But it's closer, Scully, it's closer to the truth." Scully rolled her eyes. "I need to know where my sister is and what happened to her. Only then you can know me. Then you can see me for who I really am."

The two sat in silence, still hand in hand, frozen still. Scully felt his eyes burn into hers. She felt a longing, a craving to reach out and-

"HEEEEEEEEEEEY! How are little Elvis and Priscilla? Ah-ah-ha!" Julia was back. And she was wiggling her hips like nobody's business in an attempt to impersonate Elvis Presley and win Mulder's heart. No chance.

His eyes widened and Scully could see the desperation in them. She was annoyed that this selfish, selfish woman had the ruined the moment.

__

What moment? Was something going to happen? Had I really gone to…kiss_ him?_ she wondered.

Her thoughts were disturbed by Mulder's firm grasp on her arm. "Are you okay Scully? Do you still feel sick? You know you look really pale. Let me take you to the bathroom." He looked up at the Dame Edna glasses. "Excuse me."

"No problem! Can't have our little Dana feeling ill now, can we?" She let out a shriek that compelled Mulder to move a hell of a lot faster, grabbing Scully's hand and dragging Scully along with him.

When they reached the hallway Mulder took back his hand and gripped his hair. "Oh my GOD Scully, how in God's name did you get acquainted with her?"

"You know I really can't remember…"

"I guess she must be from Quantico or maybe…" he looked up, hearing a giggle. "Scully are you laughing at me?"

"I'm sorry Mulder! I just…I'm sorry…" Scully cleared her throat and forced herself to stop laughing, leaving only a grin on her face.

Suddenly, a gunshot blast pierced the air, shocking everyone into silence. People began to gasp in surprise.

"Oh my God," gasped Scully, as they rushed to get to where the noise had come from.

Mulder ran off down a hallway.

"Mulder!"

"I think it came from the tower!"

********************************************

"DIDIERE! DIDIERE WAS THAT YOU? ARE YOU OKAY?" Mulder raced up the stairs, this time followed closely by Scully, who had recovered from her Alcoholic Adventure.

When they reached the top, they found Didiere leaning on the wall, cringing in pain. His foot was coated with a thick layer of dark, almost black blood.

"Didiere what happened?" demanded Mulder, rushing towards the old man, holding him steady. Scully inspected his foot closely.

"I…I did it," Didiere mumbled.

Mulder frowned. "Where's the gun?"

"I threw it over the edge," Didiere answered, looking away from Mulder so he couldn't read his expression.

Scully stood up and pulled Mulder aside. "Mulder this wound is most certainly not self-inflicted. It's been fired at an angle making it impossible for Didiere to have fired it. He's lying, Mulder."

"Stay here and sort him out."

"Where are you going?"

"To find our mystery assailant."

********************************************

"OKAY EVERYBODY REMAIN CALM! I want you all to take a chair and have a long drink. Everything's fine! Get back to your party!"

Mulder surveyed the large hall for anyone suspicious. It didn't take him long to notice the conspicuous, introvert man, leaning against the wall, speaking on a cell phone. Seeing him watching him, the man dashed out of the door, followed by Mulder who walked briskly as opposed to running, not wanting to make a scene or worry people unnecessarily. Mulder caught sight of the man's jacket flying up the wide, velvet stairs that led to the large bedrooms.

"WAIT! FEDERAL AGENT! I'M ARMED!" As with most runaways, the man took no notice, and Mulder lost sight of him. Just then, his phone beeped at him.

"Yeah," he answered breathlessly.

"Mulder it's me. Listen you've _got_ to be careful. Didiere told me our attacker's in the Great Hall. I-"

"Yeah Scully I got him."

"What? No Mulder it's a-" 

Mulder switched off his phone as he heard the door of a room squeak. He crept along the dark hallway, staying close to the edge. He held his gun to his chest, pointing it at the ceiling. He edged towards the nearest bedroom and gently pushed open the door. The room was pitch black. Nevertheless, Mulder managed to make out the shadowy figure that stood holding the door of the wardrobe open. The figure reached out an arm and turned on the lights with a click.

Mulder's mouth dropped open.

Oh God.

__

Dame Edna.

"Heeeeeeey you!"

"Um… I gotta-" Mulder blurted.

"No no no no no! Please, stay!" The dreaded woman walked over and shut the door behind Mulder. "Come here I have something to tell you." She took his hand and pulled him towards the bed. "I know you're shy."

"Um…look I…really don't think-"

"Oh come _on!_ This is a _party!_" Her face was lit up and Mulder could swear her eyes were bulging out of her head.

"Just relax!"

"No you don't understand, I have to-" Mulder pleaded. Julia took his gun and placed it on the floor.

"I-"

She pushed Mulder onto the bed and licked her lips. She leaned on his shoulders, forcing him to lie down, and hovered over him.

__

Jersey Devil Alert, Mulder thought, as an alarm bell went off in his head.

"You know, you're sooo sexy. I've been watching you all evening."

__

You don't say.

"Dana's such a lucky woman!" She started stroking Mulder's chest, and began working on the buttons of his shirt. Mulder squirmed to free himself, but the woman pinned him down fast. "Now, now! You know you want it." She pressed her lips onto Mulder's neck, at first kissing him softly, then sucking hard at the skin.

__

Great. First Jersey Devil, then a comeback from the vampire…

"Please, I have to go! Please? Can-" Mulder's mouth was stopped by the attachment of the woman's lips to his. Mulder wriggled again. Edna ran her fingers through his hair whilst Mulder prayed nobody would walk in.

Mulder's cell phone beeped from his pocket.

__

Thank God.

The woman detached herself and sat up slightly. 

"Mulder." The woman eyed him up and down as he spoke, making him feel uncomfortable.

"Mulder you're chasing the wrong person!" Scully exclaimed.

"What?" Mulder sat up. Julia twirled his hair around her finger.

"You're looking for a _woman!_"

Mulder's heart stopped. He looked up at Edna, his eyes widening.

"Who's on the phone?" she asked, leaning in to listen.

"Mulder? Mulder who is that?" Scully asked.

Before he could answer, the woman snatched the phone from his hand and threw it to the floor, whipping a gun from inside her shirt. She jumped off the bed.

"Stay _right_ there." She pointed the gun at Mulder. "Stupid bitch ruined my little game," she mumbled, glaring at the phone.

Mulder held his hands up in surrender.

"Ahhhh. Look at him. All scared."

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, his breath quickening.

No answer.

"You shot Didiere, didn't you? The old man."

"He got what he deserved. He never cared. He just did his business then left. He left mom all alone. He took us away from her." Her voice was shaky now, and tears glazed her eyes with a shiny film.

"Didiere was your father?"

Julia's green mascara began to trickle down her face and Mulder felt a twinge of laughter creep up on him but suppressed it quickly.

"He gave us up. DAMN IT HE GAVE US UP TO THEM! TO THE ALIENS!"

Mulder jumped, surprised by the sudden outburst. "Us? You and who else?"

"My sister."

"Your sister?"

"She died after they sent her back. That's why I'm doing this. For her. She made me promise that I would make him pay for what he did. But I…I…I couldn't bring myself to…" he voice trailed off as she sobbed quietly.

Mulder stood up slowly and walked over to where she stood. "It's okay."

"GET BACK!" she snapped, her eyes angry again.

Mulder's arms flew up again, trying to show her that he wouldn't try anything.

"Oh God what have I done? You're going to arrest me, aren't you?"

"I-"

"No! No you won't! Because I'm going to kill you!"

"No! No look- I can help you! I-"

"SHUT UP!" She pointed the gun closer to Mulder, aiming at his head. Her finger moved slowly on the trigger, pulling, pulling, pulling…

The gunshot punctured the silence. But Mulder felt no pain. Edna fell to the floor. 

Mulder looked up to see Scully standing in the doorway, her gun supported by both hands, still pointing and still smoking. The Christmas Tree Turned Murderer Woman lay still, blood oozing from her head and soaking the carpet.

"Mulder are you okay?" she rushed towards him.

"Yeah, just a little…seduced."

"What?"

********************************************

For the third time, the two agents climbed the ten flights of stairs, the journey becoming particularly tedious.

"She WHAT?" Scully asked, amazed at what Mulder had told her. "She _seduced_ you then she tried to _kill_ you? What kind of killer does that?"

"She obviously thought it would weaken me."

Scully looked thoughtful. "Actually it was probably the right thing to do. You _do_ weaken easily from being bribed by charm."

"You could hardly call it _charm_, Scully. The woman was insane! I thought she would…Hang on, what do you mean, 'I weaken easily'?"

"You've obviously forgotten about-" she stopped as they reached the top of the stairs, seeing the tower was empty. No Didiere.

"Where did he go?"

"He was right here when I left him!" Scully declared, confused.

Scully turned to go back down the stairs.

"Scully wait."

She turned back to see Mulder looking over the wall.

Mulder looked at Scully. "I think I found him."

Scully leaned over the wall. Floating on the moat, his blind eyes staring up at the sky, lay Didiere, his body a motionless corpse. Mulder thought of how he had described the sky to him only hours ago.

"Mulder it's late. I'll drive you home."

"No, I think I'll stay here for a while. You go on ahead."

Scully turned and walked away.

"I was gonna jump."

Scully froze in her tracks. "_What?_" She turned to look at Mulder, who remained leaning on the crenellation, looking down at the moat.

"When I was up here earlier, I thought of jumping, ending it all. Putting an end to all the pain, the memories."

Scully leaned on the wall next to him. His eyes stayed on the dark waters below them, lit up by the stars and the moon. "But _why_ Mulder? You have to get your sister out of your head. You've got to stop thinking that you've lost everything. Mulder you _haven't_ lost everything. You still have something. You still have family who love you. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"I don't know anymore, Scully. Maybe I should just end it all here and now. Be with my sister."

"Mulder don't talk like that. You're scaring me. Look at me Mulder!"

Mulder turned his head slowly to face Scully. Her face was filled with worry, with concern.

"If…If you were to die Mulder, I couldn't handle it. It would crush me. It would…It would kill me, Mulder. You would leave behind in me a hole so big, I don't think I would ever be the same again." She gripped his arms and shook him gently, searching his eyes in desperation. "You're always there for me, more than anybody. You've saved my life countless times and I owe you so much. Don't do this, Mulder. Be brave. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for me. Please…" she gestured with her hands, trying to choke back the tears that were forming in the corners of her eyes. "Please. Just…I…"

Her voice was faint and a tear ran down her cheek, a pearl of pain, glistening in the night. Mulder reached out, wrapping his arms around her delicate frame and sinking his face into her warm shoulder. She squeezed him tightly, tears rolling uncontrollably down her face and onto his coat. She sobbed quietly, unable to stop.

"Scully I…" He drew back from her, looking into her eyes. "I never knew I meant so much to you, I…" He stroked her cheek tenderly, wiping away the tears. "I didn't mean to frighten you." He felt tears welling up in his own eyes. He blinked them back. "It's such a beautiful night." The two looked up at the sky. Stars were scattered in their millions on the blanket of blue. The moon sat proudly in the sky, shining her hazy light onto the castle below her.

"Yes it is." Scully had stopped crying, satisfied at last that Mulder was safe. They stood for a long time, holding each other, gazing into each other's eyes, unaffected by the coldness that was beginning to intensify as the night drew on.

Mulder felt himself drawing closer to Scully, closing the gap between them. Neither of them flinched, both taken in by the moment. Mulder took his hands from Scully's waist and took her head in his hands, smoothing her cheeks with his thumbs. He searched her face for a sign of rejection, but she merely stared back, waiting. He moved closer. He turned his head to the side, his lips beginning to part. 

Scully's heartbeat fastened. She felt a strange mixture of hesitation and eagerness, wanting this so much, yet afraid of its implications. She parted her lips almost subconsciously, feeling the moment was lasting minutes, hours, days. At last his lips touched hers. Scully reached up and rested her hands on the back of his neck, absorbed by his kiss. Their lips moved gently as their tongues mingled together, tasting one another for the first time.

When it was over, Mulder drew back. 

Scully's eyes were still shut. She opened them slowly and a smile crept across her face. Mulder reflected her expression, his eyes twinkling as a sensation of happiness replaced the downhearted feeling that was there before.

Something caught Scully's eye. "Mulder look!"

"What?"

"Over there…" Scully pointed to the field just beyond the castle.

"Oh m…" Mulder was speechless.

In the field behind the castle, stood a man. Upon closer inspection, one would see that he was a famous rock and roll singer, wearing a white suit with gold buttons that sparkled in the moonlight. He sung to himself in a faint, deep voice, wiggling his pelvis as Mulder and Scully gazed on in amazement.

********************************************

Thank you all for reading this story and PLEEEEEEEEEASE e-mail me for feedback (I will reply as quickly as I can)! I take all strengths of constructive criticism!

E-mail: [katerogers@bun.com][1]

   [1]: mailto:katerogers@bun.com



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